In November of 1984, one year after The Adoption Exchange was founded, President Reagan proclaimed the first National Adoption Week in the United States. In 1995 President Clinton declared November National Adoption Month, expanding the designated period of awareness from a single week to an entire month. At The Adoption Exchange, National Adoption Month is one of our favorite times of year. These thirty days provide an opportunity to come together with national, state, and local agencies to raise awareness about the need for permanent connections for the thousands of youth waiting in foster care.
In a 2014 TED Talk, Jillian Lauren stated: “Love is a decision; love is an action.” Adoption stories may vary, but the common thread they share is the decision to take the first step. That initial decision can ultimately lead to a supportive and caring home base that helps an individual thrive not just during childhood and adolescence, but for a lifetime. This November, we would like to share with you three inspiring stories from families who took action to adopt.
The Baker Family
Amanda and Justin Baker* began the adoption process in the fall of 2018. A child at the daycare that Amanda’s sister manages needed someone to care for her. Amanda and Justin opened their door to that little girl, who eventually found a home with another family. The experience set in motion Amanda’s and Justin’s pursuit of adoption. The couple began taking classes and met another foster parent who expressed that they might be a good match for the child she was fostering.
“I remember the first time we saw Jewell*,” Amanda shares. “We pulled up to the house and she had a big smile and was full of energy…We had been considering other kids, but this one was different.”
Jewell’s adoption was finalized in June of 2019; after the initial honeymoon phase, the Bakers struggled with some of Jewell’s big behaviors. Luckily, they were able to navigate these challenges with support from Jewell’s social worker, a therapist, the child placement agency, and The Adoption Exchange. “The Adoption Exchange was very helpful in letting us feel that we were surrounded by support,” Amanda shares. She also expresses her gratitude for Jennifer, Jewell’s Intensive Recruiter from The Adoption Exchange, who provided continuity as a consistent “friendly face” during a period of time when Jewell was experiencing unpredictability in her surroundings.
Amanda and Justin have found that the adoption journey can be difficult at times but that the love and connection it has brought into their lives makes it all worthwhile. “If you’re up for the challenge of adopting, you’ll get rewarded tenfold,” Amanda says. “It’s been especially good for us because Jewell is old enough to truly be aware of all that has happened. When I asked her if I could share our story, she said, ‘I want everyone to hear my story.’”
Jewell turned 11 years old in August. She loves the theater!
“Even if Justin and I had had a biological child, I don’t think that child could be more like us than Jewell is. It took us too long to find each other. Jewell says, ‘I think God made me look like you guys so that I would recognize you.’”
– Amanda Baker
The Lawter Family
Jenilee and Rocky Lawter started their adoption journey in 2014 when they took classes to become foster parents. The couple fostered two girls starting in 2015 until the girls were placed with an aunt in early 2016. “It hurt to let them go, but we knew it was best for them,” Jenilee shares. The couple ultimately decided that foster parenting was not a fit for them due to its temporary nature. In early 2017, Jenilee underwent a hysterectomy after eight years of trying to have children. At that time, she and Rocky believed they would remain childless and decided to pursue their dreams of traveling for Rocky’s job and having adventures as a pair.
All that changed one day in November 2017 when Jenilee reached out to The Adoption Exchange to ask about the process of foster care adoption. Within a week, The Adoption Exchange had found a sibling group for the Lawters to consider. “Upon seeing their sweet faces, we knew they were to be ours,” Jenilee shares.
““I remember the call telling us that we were chosen to be parents to Adilyn, Bellatrix and Malakai. Our lives changed that day; our dreams of becoming parents came true.”
– Jenilee Lawter
Adilyn, Bellatrix and Malakai’s adoption was finalized on October 31, 2018. The Lawter family grew from two members to five virtually overnight, and Jenilee comments that while it hasn’t been easy, “the joyful chaos far outweighs the hard times.” Jenilee and Rocky thanked The Adoption Exchange, and particularly our staff member, Jessica, for changing their lives forever. “We are living a dream that we didn’t think was possible,” Jenilee says.
The Flynn Family
It was not Kelly and Jennifer Flynn’s intention to end up with a family worthy of occupying every seat in a 15-passenger van…but they did! Kelly and Jennifer felt called to adopt mid-2002, but it took time for them to begin the process while they were raising their two biological children. Eventually they completed foster parenting classes with the intention of participating in a foster-to-adopt program through their county.
After Kelly and Jennifer had completed their foster parent training, the couple’s caseworker called to let them know about an African-American, drug-exposed newborn in need of care and likely permanent placement. Kelly recalls feeling apprehensive about the possibility of a transracial adoption. “The African-American part had me conflicted, and not because of growing up with any prejudice…Actually the complete opposite, as a child of the MLK years,” Kelly shares. “What had me conflicted was the very reality that—on the surface, at least—we would be so ‘different.’” But Kelly shook himself out of his self-doubt, and he and Jennifer went to meet the baby: Sullivan, the first of 11 children they would eventually adopt.
“I could tell you of each of the unique stories that followed,” Kelly shares. “The sibling groups, the international adoptions, the ones God literally handed us.” One of Kelly and Jennifer’s sons was adopted in six months and one day; another adoption took three years from start to finish. Most recently the couple finalized an adult adoption of Matt, one of their former foster sons who had aged out of the system.
Since January of 2017, Jennifer has been volunteering with The Adoption Exchange as a photographer for the Nevada Heart Gallery to help connect even more youth with loving families. Kasey, one of Kelly and Jennifer’s sons, gives his time as a volunteer videographer as well. Jennifer and Kasey use their artistic and creative abilities to showcase youth and help encourage families to take the first step on their adoption journey.
“Each child and each situation is so different. What is not different is that we all should belong to a forever family. Whether an infant or toddler or tween or teen, they all desire and need love and comfort and acceptance and permanency.”
– Kelly Flynn
Learn more about National Adoption Month, including resources to start your own adoption journey.
* Name has been changed to ensure confidentiality.