By Brooks Kaskela

We all have needs that are both similar and unique to others.

Our children do, too.

But we can also have needs that started out as simple and similar to other humans on the planet until life gets in the way and they become unique in many aspects. For example, everyone needs water to survive and thrive. For children from hard places, that hydration need can throw them off balance easier and faster than it may someone else. This is especially true for nutrition needs. Protein snacks every couple of hours are important for anyone. If you have a history of going without proper nutrition, protein snacks can be absolutely crucial. Hunger has a special ability to make an impact on the brain and behaviors because of its link to survival. When I get hungry, I may just get cranky as a result while I wait for my chance to eat. But for someone with a history of malnutrition, it will feel like a life or death situation to even feel the first pangs of hunger, and we will see the effects of this struggle through behaviors and interactions with them.

We are biologically wired for connection to other humans and without this, we will not survive. Many of us are not aware of how important this is on a foundational level because we have connections and always have. For children that have experienced disruptions in this arena, they have a much more difficult time establishing and maintaining relationships. We have to be more intentional in giving them what they need relationally and being aware of the hurt that has occurred for them. Due to this increased need for awareness and strategies, this common need becomes unique.

We can sometimes get complex in developing plans to help individuals move from merely surviving to thriving in their lives, but many of these are based on simple principles. These principles can impact children from hard places in unique ways because of the increased significance and situations that can occur if these needs go unmet. Some simple tips to remember as you are dealing with unique needs of your own may include:

1. Get enough rest so your body and brain can “reset”
2. Move your body so you can engage your senses and get the input you need to regulate and be healthy
3. Connect with the people around you
4. Be aware of yourself and what you are bringing to your interactions and the world around you
5. Ask yourself if the expectations you have are realistic for the situation or the individual

If you have a child with unique needs, make sure you’re helping create the time and space for them to follow these tips as well.

These simple tips can go a long way to address needs that seem unique and build a solid foundation from which to grow. Pick one to try and I bet you’ll be surprised at the level of impact!

Brooks Kaskela is the Post-Permanency Support Services Program Director at Raise The Future. For the past 18 years, Brooks has worked in the mental health field in a variety of roles that have increased her depth and understanding regarding the needs of children and families involved in child welfare. Due to these experiences and her education, she brings to this a fierce passion for advocating for the needs of children and families as well as a background of knowledge and experience to guide her on this path of service.